Keeping the Mommy Guilt Monster from Rearing Its Ugly Head

The Mommy Guilt Monster usually resides deep, deep in my psychic closet. I know it's always there - I don't think I know a mom who doesn't have the monster hiding somewhere. For me, the monster started to grow once I went back to work full-time and it's been getting bigger and louder ever since June when I got my new job. I keep a lid on it though, because this is the job for which I've waited years. I tell myself that I'm teaching my son a great lesson about who women can be in the world. I tell myself that the silver lining to the long commute that came with the job is that JR's dad, who was always SuperDad, has gotten the chance to play whole new roles in the family - the morning organizer, the chef. I tell myself that I'm there for the important things - dinner, piano practice, story reading, bedtime. Of course, though, it's one of the rare nights where I'm not home (having stayed to work late), that we get the call from JR's teacher who wants to have the serious chat about school and reading and all those things that I should be right on top of - if I were a better mom.

JR's dad took the call - and then I called the teacher, too. So we're all on top of the situation. We're all working together.

Now I just have to convince Mommy Guilt Monster to get back into the closet.

School Days

JR (and his Dad and I) survived our first day of kindergarten. He is a Hummingfish. The other kindergarteners are Barbaloots.

He had a 1-1/2 hour orientation yesterday, and then the full, first day of school today. Earlier this week, he had a total meltdown about leaving his old preschool. ("I don't want new teachers. I miss K and H.") When we arrived yesterday, he looked a bit shell-shocked. One of his wonderful teachers (R) came up to introduce himself. JR glued himself to my backside. R got down on JR’s level and pulled out a guitar pick. After unsuccessfully trying to engage JR in a conversation about what the guitar pick does, he made it disappear. The guitar pick reappeared behind JR’s ear. R was now okay in JR's book. ☺

Today, he was pretty tentative in the yard at drop-off, which was filled with all the returning kids from pre-K to grade 8. He was especially nervous because his best friend Z wasn’t there. (Z also wasn’t there yesterday because he had a later orientation time.) Nevertheless, he walked upstairs and put his Spiderman book bag in his cubby. He then handed me his striped tiger to take with me (“Put it in your book bag,” I suggested. “Noooo, Mom, you take him. Stripey doesn’t want to go to kindergarten.”). Then he scooted over to the circle and sat down right in the same spot he'd sat in yesterday (next to Teacher R).

Z's mom told me later than when she dropped her son off (3 minutes late), JR's whole face lit up. He jumped up, the 2 of them ran to greet each other, and life was good. Z went to this school last year for pre-K, so he already has a bunch of friends. He promised his mom to introduce JR to his other friends.

At home tonight, the stories about his day tumbled out willy-nilly. Apparently, they learned the song for the weekly field trip to the environmental center, they had an all-school assembly at which all the Hummingfish had to stand up together, and they were presented with their official school t-shirts, and they paired off in twos and threes to share their favorite books which they'd brought from home. (JR brought in Book 1 of Harry Potter, which we've just finished). JR was grouped with Z and a girl whose name he doesn't remember. Another boy is already reading Book 3 of Harry Potter and every time his dad reads the name Voldemort, he screams. The class had a visit from the Lorax, who brought them a gift of seeds, which they planted. The whole school learned that "Every day is Earth Day." The "other J" in first grade, whom we met at church on Sunday, had to stand up when his name was called and he also got a t-shirt (all kids new to the school get t-shirts). And on and on.

After all of the agonizing we went through last year - we couldn't be happier with JR's kindergarten. The only downside - after 4 years of walking from home to preschool to work, we are now taking 2 busses up and back. I left my office at 4:00 p.m. to pick him up and we got home at 6:00 p.m. My resolution to use public transit and not drive may not last very long.

Out of this World Graduate

 

One of the reasons it has never been hard to leave JR and go off to work is that he spends his day at a wonderful preschool with the most creative teachers. On Thursday, he graduated along with 10 other classmates. The teachers, as they do every year, made the graduation hats. This year, though, they totally outdid themselves. Each child was outfitted in a hat that represented his or her favorite thing. So one child's hat was a pirate captain hat, another a shark, a horse, a lion, a butterfly, a spider, a tennis court and a baseball diamond (complete with balls that dangled off the court), a Seattle Seahawks helmet, the Coliseum (burning while Nero fiddled), and for JR, my boy who loves outer space and rockets, the entire solar system. The hats were awesome. The graduates were adorable. The parents were proud and the teachers - I can only hope that the rest of the teachers that JR has in his school life are half as creative, dedicated, and nurturing as Esther, Heather, Kate, Gina and Christina have been this year.